We all have good and bad days. We all go through phases where nothing goes right and others where we can do no wrong. It seems to me since we moved South a year and a half ago to follow our dreams, that being a full-time artist/business owner means experiencing this wild fluctuation multiple times in a single day. Constant instability: it's not for the faint of heart.
Our minds are traitorous, giving us confidence one moment, condemnation the next. I believe this is what's behind "imposter syndrome" - we simply can't trust our own minds to know what the truth is. This, as my husband Swami Kevi would say, is the problem with ego and why we need Yoga. Not that class at the gym, although that's good too. Yoga, the noun - union of the self with God (Creator, Supreme Being, etc). While receiving accolades and achieving goals feels good, the soul knows those things are insubstantial. I paint and write because I am absolutely fascinated with what God created, from atoms to animals and souls to stars. I'm in awe of how it is all connected and I want to share that sense of wonder with others. That's my Yoga. At the end of my days, it won't matter that my work was validated by the right word from the right person or sold from the right gallery to the right collector for the right price. What truly matters is that through it I connected with and affected another person somehow.
Of course, there is the small matter of having to pay bills, and making money is somewhat reliant upon those insubstantial things I mentioned. There's the rub. Toward the end of last year, I felt completely lost in trying to keep pace with all the things one is "supposed to do" to run a successful business. At the beginning of this year, I took a step back from it all. Now I'm moving forward again, but with the Yoga mindset. Life is and will always be unstable, but God, my connection to Him and everything else through Him, is solid sacred ground.
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