In 1993 I drew this sketch in my journal and wrote:
Every year my life gets closer to the light, the truth, tighter, smoother.
At that time, I saw life as a spiral in which we encounter similar experiences over and over again from different vantage points until we learn the lesson and move on. The spiral turns inward funneling those lessons and truths into our hearts and helping us to act and make decisions as we move forward in life. Over the past couple of years, books and lectures from people such as Mike Dooley, Rupert Sheldrake, and Joe Dispenza have caused me to change my point of view. Yesterday I saw a quote by Mike Dooley from Notes From the Universe that made me realize that the shift is almost a complete reversal:
Always trust your dreams. They've chosen you, as much as you've chosen them.
Since I was a little girl I've dreamt of being a writer and artist - spending my days thinking and creating - and that my work would be meaningful to others. As I've moved toward that life and the person I want to become I've experienced more, met more people, and become a better person.
Rather than our lives being played out (and petering out) before us, I believe we are creating our lives. Life isn't happening to us. We cause our lives to happen. Our dreams exist because they reflect who we already are inside. When we act in accordance with what's inside us, we spiral out from our hearts toward our future selves, others, and God, encompassing more of life and the world as we go. Spiraling out from our heart, that inner image of ourselves becomes the outer reality. It's a subtle shift from pulling in to flowing out. Pulling inward is reactive and usually a response to fear. Flowing outward is proactive and an act of faith.
Following my dream, I try to put all of my heart into my writing and paintings. My only regrets come from when I haven't - when I've held back within the work, tried to manipulate the result, or not created at all. The same with life. When I reach out, with my work or my hand, I have to trust that someone will want to take it. I'm not going to pretend that it always happens but more often than not, someone will be there.
You and everything you do matters. Live out from your heart and have faith - in yourself, in your dreams, and in others. The point of it all is love.
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